why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
