i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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