is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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