Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
