Nicole vs. Life
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
