If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
