return my video game
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
