Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
