I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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