last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
