Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
