yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
