somebody snuck up and got me drunk
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize