I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
