Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
