mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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