It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
