Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
