A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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