Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Green mimosas i think yes
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
