Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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