Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
