if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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