we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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