the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I could fuck to npr.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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