Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
