anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
