my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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