I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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