is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
