you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
