This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
