just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
