i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
