i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
