thus making me awesome and them whores
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
