It's Friday. Sex?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
