Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The power of my boobs compel you
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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