Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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