He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
