Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize