I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
