dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
