mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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