Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
