I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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