White coat. Heels.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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