I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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