Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
