I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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