Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Sext me about skeletons
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
