I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
