Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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